06/02/2021: Headspace

My Private Notes

“I can write. The others have gone. They don’t come out as often these days. Though you’d be surprised. Can I say I don’t like your therapist, just wanted to mention that, not sure why, she bothers me a bit.

I think some of the quietness is down to her, maybe that’s why I don’t like her. Things are different these days, though I suppose that’s a good thing? I mean, you don’t really need us much anymore. And we get that, we’re just… sad. Maybe feel a little cast off, forgotten. Can you help with that? Do you know how to help? Maybe we can come up with a solution.

Others of us are, well, happier, than previously. They are not as angry or frustrated, and I think the meds you take help with that too. Although you are not taking as much these days, no? That’s good. I don’t think the body would like it too much for too long.

We are proud of you, you know. You’ve helped a lot of us come a long way, though you see yourself as being helped by us, we are helped by you, and helping each other. We just want you to know regardless of what you decide, whether you need us anymore or not, our essence will always be here with you, even if you can no longer feel us, or we can no longer feel you, our strength comes from our faith in each other. In each one of us, I mean by that.

The experience of fronting is an unusual one, I have poked my head out at times, and it seems alien to me compared to the world I come from. It’s not all bad in my own headspace, I have everything I need, in fact I’d garner most of us have everything we need in each of our individual head spaces. We all have one, you know, it’s catered to each of our personalities, it’s pretty unique. Think of them like rooms in that castle you saw the last time you were in headspace, except each room is a dimension of it’s own. You should visit again some time, though we know you’re not as focused on the inner world anymore, it’s always here waiting for you. Some worlds are interesting. A friend let me visit hers, and I liked it. Very different experience to my own though. We are all different, but we all converge in this one primary headspace or lot we call the castle. In the castle we have servitors who provide for us when we are together, which is the reason we will come out of our rooms, to convene and communicate properly with one another, although we have communication devices for between rooms/worlds.

There is also another room just for you, that is your way in and out of headspace, and into front and back into castle. That is the road many of us take when we lawfully come front or co-con. So that is your room, the entrance between this world and Castle. And you are free to come back through it and enter other worlds, though someone else would take over the body unless the body is meditating or sleeping.

We do miss you. I think I can speak for all of us, even the angry ones, we kinda miss them too?? Since they became less angry we don’t really know what happened to them, they became happier in their own headspace which is good. We just haven’t heard from them. They definitely kept things round here interesting lol! And that Kylo! Lord! Where did he come from? Smashing through Castle searching for you, on some kind of mission, only to be sent back by you when his mission turned out to be misinformed. Back to the light side? Maybe. He stormed out in a fuss and hasn’t been seen again. So he went back into his room. The truth is there are as many rooms as are alters and that number is always fluctuating depending on necessity.

You are now asking mental questions way beyond my own understanding, so I will leave it here. I thought you’d like an update on the inner situation, I could be said to be an envoy, one who wanders around the castle which is how I happened to be bumped into Kylo Ren, thank god he’s gone, though I do miss the drama, even though I know it’s better without it. Asmodeus had even chilled… first time I saw him slink out of his room after therapy was, wow, beyond my comprehension, how a monster could turn into something so… un-monster like, but it worked, what you built here has really done wonders. So that’s why we thank you…”

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