12/10/2020: Death

My Private Notes

I walk down a dark corridor. At the end is a forest and Death is there waiting for me. There is an open coffin and he motions to get inside. I do.

He buries me with dirt and darkness. Everything disappears and there is only darkness and my floating in it. All the darkness is sucked inside me and I find myself somewhere that feels underground in a pitch black room, with a strange ghostly light from above only reflecting the ripples of my footsteps as I walk on what appears to be water.

Death is then on my right side. He motions to a red door in front of me. I ask what’s through there. “It’s your choice”, he replies. Every question I ask is repeated with this one answer: “It’s your choice”.

I open the door slowly and peek through. There are demons, devils, rooms upon rooms of torture chambers, dungeons. There are devils that are psychopaths, murderers, the worst of the worst in what I know is my own personal hell. There are stairs going down and I walk down past more and more floors of this depravity. There is an orgy going off to one side someplace… there is a cackling voice somewhere else as if a devil notices me and finds it hideously amusing. I walk through… untouched, nauseated… yet unafraid. I know my mind, even if this is the first time I’ve seen the basement as such.

At the bottom of the stairs is another corridor. I walk down it and under the floor is a little cell, barring in a young girl. She asks me to help her. I struggle to say yes, feeling like I just want to leave her there… in the end I cave in as if to say “what the hell” and get her out. An interesting conversation ensues:

Her: Thanks for saving me
Me: It’s okay, who hurt you?
Her: He’s gone now
Me: Why are they all gone?
Her: Did you notice when you walked through none of them demons bothered you?
Me: Yes
Her: Do you know why?
Me: Because I wasn’t afraid of them?
Her: Exactly. I was left because I wasn’t afraid of them anymore
Me: So why were you trapped in here?
Her: Because I got stuck

I notice Death appear at the end of the corridor again. I sense the girl is supposed to go to him. Suddenly she’s afraid now. I suggest we go to Death together, and we do.

Next moment we fall down and down and down… into another pitch black room that looks like…. a waiting room? There is kind of waiting room music and we go and sit on a waiting room couch which was brown leather. Next to us is another couch and a skeleton was sat there also waiting.

A door opens and a doctor steps out and calls us into her office. I ask why we’re there and where exactly are we. “This is ground zero, and phase one”, she explains as she does a medical checkup on the girl. “It looks like you’re healthy and cleared for phase two”. I ask her what phase two is. “Phase two is where those who find themselves here are sent hard to work on the next level up”. I feel hesitant but the girl seems eager to work, saying it’s better than where she came from at least.

I ask the doctor where this is all going and we get in an elevator and go up and up until we’re looking down upon all the levels. “This is how one ascends through the consciousness ladder when they transition from death once again to the living”. Someone comes to take the girl away to begin her work back down on the second floor and next thing I remember I am back in the first pitch black room with Death again.

Death tells me, “this has been your journey of going down, up till now. But now is your journey of going up. You are going up now, and I am here with you”. I sit with Death for a moment and know I know him. He hands me some sunglasses before I leave, telling me they may help me see clearer whilst blocking out the light if it becomes too bright for me.

Then he brings me back to my body because I’m tired.

I draw a tarot card and it’s the Ace of Wands. I drew a tarot card before the journey and it was the Knight of Cups.

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