05/09/2020: High Visions

My Private Notes

Saw a star above my head, soul star chakra, felt like I was gonna get ejected but got distracted by noise outside.

Lots of sexual energy released… maybe my monster too. Imaginations of sex and violence were twisted together. Suddenly a large tall guy was standing a couple of meters away. He smirked and said “are you ready to take me back now” fully expecting me to say yes. Even stoned out of my mind, I said no. Him, everyone inside, were shocked. I told him to go away.

Confusion ensued. “Should I be saying yes to reconnect with myself? He’s probably an alter? Or no to keep boundaries enforced?”

I noticed an energy embedded deep within my own, parasitic, like a virus, hiding unknown. I cut it out with my fingers/dragon claws. I threw it into the earth then channelled the full-moon light into the wound for healing and protection. A swan turned up as a full-moon animal and I charged it with protecting the wound.

Still confused over that other guy I saw, I asked Lilith for help. Bad idea maybe? I couldn’t help but self-pleasure, feelings were overwhelming. But I was thrown back in the past with exes. I wanted to be disgusted with myself but being too high, I couldn’t find the energy or care.

A voice told me afterwards, “that’s all your grief you never expressed, all your pain, you keep it locked down, you know this”. I knew it wasn’t reflective of how I feel now.

That’s mostly all I remember, before being falling into sleep. Had an experience my astral body unfurled into draconic version.

Had intense dreams – About becoming and accepting myself as LGBT.

Oh! Had a vision or rather I was astrally on Mars. Can’t remember the timeline of when this happened, but I was connecting with the core of Mars like I do the core of Earth, and connecting to the earth element, but from Mars, not Earth. I saw space from Mars POV.

At the beginning of it all, I had a funky dream/imagination/vision I was dancing and self-pleasuring inside a trichome. It was the cannabis spirit enveloping me completely, my aura and own spirit.

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