It has been quite a while since I last updated. I am trying to remember everything that has happened since and what is going on with me both health wise and spiritually.
I remember that I was due for a sleep test overnight at the hospital to diagnose or rule out Narcolepsy once and for all but unfortunately I accidentally missed that appointment and the cancellation list is super long, so things are still uncertain on that front. However I don’t think I have narcolepsy anymore, especially since I started taking a new medication for migraines and found my sleep attacks reduce in severity by 75%. I was recently diagnosed by a specialist as having chronic migraine which I can’t believe took me all these years to realise, but here we are. At least now I am starting to gather what symptoms actually come from the migraines, and I notice during an attack my physical energy diminishes much more than usual. So there is that to factor in with my chronic fatigue problems.
Besides that there is still the physical energy problem. I tried to come down off of another medication (also a migraine preventative) but it made me so ill and all the energy that taking the hydrocortisone gave me disappeared again. I waited out the symptoms a month just to make sure it wasn’t a side effect of weaning but I only got worse, so I went back up and my energy is gradually picking up again. I think it will take time but at least I’m on the path to recovery and am figuring out more of what’s wrong with me and what I need to take and do to manage it. No thanks to the doctors of course! It feels like they are on a blind rabbit hunt. I was actually legally supposed to be seen by the endocrinologist two months ago now, and even though I ring and ring I can’t get through to them, or even my GP!
So I am on my own for the time being, with no tests, no appointments, no consultations, but it won’t stop me from trying my hardest to learn about my condition/s and trying to treat it myself. It seems mostly to be an amalgamation of things that help, not just any one thing particularly. On the physical side of things I am taking the medications which do me wonders and I am lucky they actually work for me as many people don’t get on with them, but on the other hand too I have gone back to the spiritual side of things and am trying to tackle that and the reason this all happened to me in the first place.
I broke my body when I unknowingly opened myself up to demonic possession – and yes I believe it was real and now and really did occur, I have gone back pretty much to being theistic. But it’s okay, I am working now on my energy and aura and being taught by Diana how to do so as well as Tellus who Diana introduced me to. I have good spirit friends now and can always count on Diana to keep me safe and monitor what goes in and out. I know she will not let harm come to me like last time and if I get ungrounded and confused by entities I only have to go back to her presence and it all fades away. She has given me love and healing like I have never experienced and I am so grateful.
So there is that. I decided to start energy healing again as I was initially using reiki energy but didn’t feel like it was right anymore. Even though reiki helped me a lot I felt like maybe it was more a band aid than a true cure, and I felt Diana pushing me towards working primarily with earth energy. So I took my time with gaining confidence in pulling up earth energy and through her prompting also have learned how to properly ground energy now and the transformation I feel on that subtle left has been incredible. Although I still suffer the obsessive compulsive thoughts there is definitely some kind of catalyst going on inside me healing wise.
And as I started to connect to the earth, and I heard Diana’s prompt to become solely focused on that, I became a devotee of mother earth in her Roman form known by the name Tellus. And since I met Tellus many interesting things have happened. For one I have learned to start shamanic journeying, and interestingly while I never really see Diana in my journeys, I see Tellus very often. She started helping me out with my healing and then decided to become my healing guide. The thing is I had been asking Diana for a while to lead me to a primary healing guide to help me out, and Tellus is who she introduced me to. So I have become increasingly comfortable with working with Tellus now.
On top of that I have met spirit animals in my journeys as well as nature spirits both existing in the real world and the nature world. I have forged genuine connections with them rather than just seeing them as guides. I have come to believe this is super important as part of healing as I try not to take them for granted and take time to appreciate them and give them offerings. After all these guides decided to work with me out of their own free will, they were never just hanging around waiting for me to make contact (well, except Tiger). These spirits are friends first, and guides second.
So, much has happened since my last post and I’ve become very focused spiritually again and feel like I’m back on my soul path. I hope that through the mix of physical attention to my health and spiritual attention to my health I will become balanced again and healthy, and maybe the healer I knew I was always meant to be. For a while recently I lost interest again in healing, but it has come back with a vengeance more than ever. I am learning so much and practicing so much and really gaining a lot out of it. I hope one day once I’m healed myself I can then use what I’ve learned to also help heal others.