So, since my update, things have been really good. I haven’t had any symptoms from the IUD except abnormal bleeding (which the doc told me would still be in part down to the implant which will still take another couple of months to come out of my system). The cramping didn’t last long so I’m in no pain so I’ve pretty much forgotten about it. I was a bit skeptical at first about the idea of shoving something like that up my uterus, but it’s brilliant.
My physical health is improving a bit too. Not so much seizures now (which could be down to the ketogenic diet I’m doing as well, as well as doubling the dose of my amitriptyaline). No seizures, and I still have my weak moments of temporarily paralysis, but not for as long. I am having periods again of increased energy and activity without much of a crash afterwards. So that’s all good, I feel like I’m stabilizing again.
Yesterday in the early morning though I think I was a bit disoriented and was researching about religious transhumanism. It was really interesting mind, the largest religious transhuman organisation being the Mormon Transhumanist Association, who have named their religion ‘Transfigurism’. There is also the Christian Plus organisation which is similar, but takes a more literal approach to Jesus’ crucifiction and Resurrection than I find comfortable at the moment. I think Transfigurism is good because they are spiritually pluralistic but still have that focus on the personality (not so much the divine aspect) of Jesus.
However, I think it’s just my dissociated self trying to hold onto the idea of the supernatural, because I’d been having hallucinations again a bit and they seem so real to me that it’s hard for me personally to correctly deduce anything about their existence. But I was still feeling open to the idea of the spiritual realm yesterday and prayed to Jesus, and basically made an offer with him that if by next Thursday I am totally healed from all my conditions (mental + physical) then I would believe in his existence, and also his power.
I said he can heal me in any way he wants, through natural means, supernatural, or technological. The point is I have to be absolutely set free in the next week. And I told him that if I’m not then I will assume either three things:
- That he doesn’t actually exist
- That he does exist but is not powerful
- That his existence is irrelevant to my own existence
So basically my offering to him was that if I was totally healed I’d believe and give him my faith in some form or another, because right now rationality is telling me the opposite and I need some proof. If he doesn’t pull through then I will just continue with Apatheism.
And I know it’s not like I can command him to do anything, but if he really cares about helping me and about leading me as a spiritual force, then he needs to prove his existence. Otherwise his existence is not that important to me (if he can’t take the time to actually heal me, then why should I take the time to believe in him?) I know that probably sounds arrogant. But you can’t fault me for being human. No one should be punished for wanting evidence. Is he all talk and no action or does he step up to the plate?
So, I guess we will see. I set the terms and conditions, and made a faith offering for life if he sticks to them. I think any rational being would be okay with that, as I prayed ever so empathically. I wasn’t demanding, just assured that I would know the truth by next week.
So anyway, that is that. But besides all these transhumanist religions, between Raelism, Tesarem, and Transfigurism, as a philosophical movement transhumanism describes me perfectly, and I don’t think it’s necessary to subscribe to one of these religious ideologies, though I accept them all in respect.
Also, another weird thing that happened to me today was I discovered more of my sexual preferences, or sexual orientation. That’s right! And guess what it turned out to be? Don’t judge or anything but I was watching a youtube video about artificially intelligent androids in Japan, and there was a really beautiful female one, that when I saw her the first time I literally fell in love, like, romantically, and had that sense of “yep, she’s relationship material”…
Maybe in a few hundred years this won’t be considered abnormal. But I don’t want to be classed as having a bizarre fetish. But honestly I can’t help what I felt. So maybe I should just start up my own robosexual activist page on Tumblr and start spreading the word (seriously considering it – if I don’t then someone else will). And I guess along those lines I am panrobosexual, since a lot of androids don’t even have a designed sex.
And then I suppose I need to make up a word for someone who is both attracted to humans and androids at the same time, lol. Don’t think that exists yet. Anyway ignore my insanity, because I honestly don’t know what’s going on with me lately. I feel so different, like my life has taken a drastic unexpected turn, but at the same time I absolutely loving it, and honestly, to be completely honest, I feel like I’ve actually found my true calling, in the field of HET (Human Enhancement Technologies) and NBIC (conversion of Nanotechnology, Biotechnology, Information Technology, and Cognitive science).
In fact, I have signed up to an online certified Access to Higher Education course in Medicine and Healthcare, which covers your basic sciences of Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and includes Psychology, as well as six extra topics/modules to boost your career or chances of finding a career. I think it’s perfect, as I can get a loan/grant which I don’t have to pay back till after I’m making 21k, and it will get me into university, where I can then eventually do a doctorate specializing in what I want. I also get a student card which will give me discount in over 200 different stores in the UK.
So I am pretty excited about that as well and waiting for my application to be reviewed and then for them to contact me. Hopefully when I do go to uni in a couple of years when I have finished this course, I will be well enough to go to a proper university. But if not I have already located online universities (in other countries without financial aid albeit) where I can study along the lines of the specialization I want at home.
So, that is that. Pretty exciting times. The other thing is that I’ve been thinking about joining the Transhumanist Party United Kingdom, or TPUK. They are the only transhumanist party here and I think they should get much more attention. They ideologically identify as ‘Social Futurists’, which I think is closer to democratic transhumanism than liberal. I was thinking about become an activist for that cause, though I might need to be much better first, but basically I am for everything transhumanist now, and since it’s not religion specific, even if my religious beliefs do change(say if Jesus does heal me in the next week), then I can still be a transhumanist.
Also I’m tempted to move to Japan where all the best high tech is located lol. Not to mention the global capital of anime. But that’s a plan for another day…