So I spent the weekend at Graeme’s house, despite the fact I’ve had an awful week in terms of health, and despite the fact he was recovering from Pneunomia as well, so we were both pretty sick and could barely look after ourselves let alone each other. But it was fun and I think being away helped me to gain some strength, from not having to worry about Lola (my Labradoodle pup) all the time.
I was feeling so bad I called my doctor and she said I could go back on the Olanzapine (anti-psychotics) because they helped with the seizures I was having the last time (making it likely they are psychogenic non-epileptic seizures triggered as a result of traumatic stress), and so I did for a couple of days but immediately put on so much weight I was devastated (it took me two months to get all that weight off!!!), so I decided to quit them last night and try the Ketogenic diet instead.
The Ketogenic diet, apart from being a way to lose weight, is also a way to control seizures in the brain, amazingly. It prevents them so I am going to do that rather than take the Olanzapine, which is MUCH healthier. Also, a Ketogenic diet isn’t hard at all. You just have to make sure you eat one hundred grams of good fats a day(includes most meats and dairies), and reduce carb intake to at least 50 grams (the less the better). My target weight at the moment is 120 pounds, so that makes my calorie intake 1,200 grams. It is doable, will help me lose weight, and will control the seizures. This may end up being a life long diet. And I’m fine with that because I personally do not like carbs anyway and the first two months of me starting dieting in Christmas I had almost no carbs anyway without even meaning to. The only problem being that it’s so easy to get into the habit of eating because junk food is everywhere, and really cheap. So lately I’ve been lax, eating more carbs and fast food. But I’m recommitting today to a better diet, and so far I’ve had loads of energy, am not feeling as weak, having no convulsions, ect. I think I just needed the Olanzapine for a few days to stabilise me again. And I will take it when I need if I have any episodes. But otherwise I am abstaining completely from that God awful drug.
I have my MRI booked now too for the 19th of April. Still waiting on the EEG. But the MRI will scan me for any autoimmune disorders and make sure there is nothing majorly wrong with me. So it will test for multiple sclerosis and other diseases like that. Honestly I don’t have a clue anymore what’s wrong with me. Maybe it IS all trauma – then blimey, that’s crazy. But if the MRI shows up nothing and the EEG says I don’t have epilepsy, then I have to go on another ten month waiting list to see the sleep clinic who will do tests for narcolepsy. At least the ball is rolling anyway, even if the NHS takes forever.
This week I also have my intrauterine device fitting, which now I’m feeling a bit better in health I’m looking forward to. I was pretty unsure whether to get it or not but I may as well if I am feeling better. My doctor phoned me and gave me the go ahead, saying that since it’s non-hormonal it shouldn’t effect my condition. Also I think the Progesterone from the contraceptive implant has come completely out of my system now because my irregular bleeding has stopped – if it was the cause of my relapse then that could explain why I have more energy today, and hopefully I will continue to go back to normal (well, what was normal for me anyway).
So anyway, my doctor wrote a letter of reference for the health clinic saying it’s ok for me to get the IUD fitted, and my doctor also said if I didn’t like she can take it out herself. That’s comforting because I’ve read stories of girls who have had big problems with these Long Acting Reversible Contraceptives (LARC’s) and the nurse refuse to take them out. Considering I’ve already had one LARC removed, it’d be easy enough to worry that they may just get sick and tired of me and refuse to have this one taken out again. But regardless, I shouldn’t need it out at all. It’s non-hormonal and lasts five years. Very effective, as the copper in the IUD kills sperm, it’s more or less a sterilizer. It doesn’t stop your ovulation or periods, so is a more natural option overall I think.
I love that it is approaching the end of March and the weather is starting to warm up. I want to get my summer body back before it’s warm enough to go to the beach. I’m really focused on that. So that’s another big motivator for me to do the Keto diet. Spring and Autumn are my favourite seasons, summer close behind, and winter waaayyy behind, lol.
Not much to update this week, but I think this is all about my health and less about my spiritual journey. I think I feel at home in the Transhumanism community… It is atheistic but progressive, futuristic, and I somehow need to raise $200,000 so I can be cryogenically frozen then revived once technology knows how to reverse aging. In fact I’d love to be on the front line with developing these new bio-technologies if I was strong enough, I’m really enjoying exploring this area.
I think regarding immortality and Raelism – The Raelists believe that the gods (aka extraterrestrials) are mapping our brains onto their software and will revive the morally good humans with new advanced bodies at the end of time (sort of apocalyptic, once the sun explodes or something I’m guessing)… which is an interesting idea but still a bit looney, so I’ve thrown it in the bin and decided to just try and be immortal through 21st century technology somehow, which probably means I need to get rich. I have no doubt the technology will be developed in my generation, but I also have no doubt that only the rich will get first access, unfortunately. Though regarding that I was talking with Graeme about politics and it turns out we are both pretty Socialist – wanting to abolish money and banks all together and have a community based on shared resources, ect. Most Socialist systems have failed due to crazy dictators, but in the future with technology we could definitely have a Socialist system like on Star Trek where money doesn’t exist, everything you need is just there for you with endless supply.
In fact some Transhumanists call aging a disease, and I agree with them. So here the interest in health for me mixes with spirituality. If we can eradicate the disease of death, things would be very very different, and I think that’s actually a world I support. But I hope humanity learns to stop being so greedy and selfish first. Maybe it never will and we will fail evolutionary as a species… then again, if technology can alter your brain, why not alter it to make you peaceful and harmonious, thereby rapidly reducing crime rates? (Think of the anime Psycho Pass, however, it does have its own limitations). I think reality as we know it would completely change, and I think that’s incredible. I definitely think we should explore it. I am also looking forward to the possibility of an artificial intelligent ‘Singularity’ taking over, and rather than thinking it to be completely good or evil, will probably have a morality just like most humans and primates. It will be ‘post-human’, and then the merge with technology would start to occur….
I know it sounds scary, terrifying even, but I honestly think there is not too much to worry about. I think technology is amazing, and can enhance health in so many ways.