The past year and a half before coming into union with Dan I was faced with a grand struggle. This was one of sexual desire and attraction. After self-realisation and meeting my previous/karmic twin flame I literally had no desire or attraction at all to anyone. Now being that I’m only twenty-one I figured something was highly wrong with me because I had barely grown up and I was already feeling like what I’d imagine an old woman would stereotypically feel- no desire for getting it on between the sheets! But it wasn’t just that, I had no desire to be close to anyone physically and affectionately whether that meant hugging or kissing, ect. I felt pretty much frigid and it was a huge change to how I was pre-realisation. I became pretty much dead in the sexual/romantic department. And the thing is, from observing others going through this journey I know I am not the only one either. So I want to write about this to give people an understanding of what I finally came to realise recently.
For a long time after self-realisation and breaking things off with my karmic twin flame I believed the reason I had no desire was because I’d integrated all the sexual energy through the heart chakra and soul, creating a sense of wholeness, creating a sense of not needing to be completed by anyone again. And that is true, in fact it was very true but at the time I didn’t understand fully the implications of it. All I knew and all I could focus on was why am I not attracted to anyone? There were shame issues with this deep down, ironically, showing up where I wasn’t fully whole and where I couldn’t allow myself to realise the entire truth of why exactly I wasn’t feeling it. Because you see, the problem was deep down I was still unconsciously looking to be completed. And this was also largely out of habit as I knew no different. But self-realisation or full 5D ascension is what many twin flame experiencers have gone through too without realising, and hence the similar confusion when their sexual desire suddenly dwindles.
Self-realisation is becoming easier and easier and more and more people are spontaneously experiencing it, especially during the twin flame separation stage. Now, when it comes to twin flames, the full ‘twin-flame experience’ exists to awaken you to yourself in this way, to allow you to realise yourself as the eternal being that you are. The thing is, a lot of the time after this experience there is no desire for that person again who originally awoke you. The reason for this is that they were a karmic connection who merged with you for the sake of healing, I have talked about this more fully in my post A Different Approach to Twin Flames, A Full Analysis. What I see happens after this point is that whilst you DID share a soul with them before the moment of self-realisation, they are no longer compatible with you on a deeper light-body level and so therefore there is nothing left to be merged with. So the merge falls apart and you return back to being two separate souls, though with a strong connection.
The thing is after this you have had a taste of divine sexuality and love, and so you think to yourself “there is nothing after this experience, I will not experience attraction again to anyone else, yet I don’t experience it with them either”…. so it is easy to think at this point that they were the ‘one’, and you just have to wait for them to catch up with you before you can experience that full intimacy again. Let me tell you, this is not true. What has happened is that your way of relating sexually has completely changed. After that moment of self-realisation suddenly a sexual relationship based on a foundation of separation has no appeal anymore. This is because nothing is actually separated, and so to pursue a typical 3D relationship founded in illusions of separation and need for completion makes no sense. It’s anti-love. What this doesn’t mean is that you can never experience that desire for anyone ever again and have to wait for the person who awoke all that in you originally. What it does mean is that you are just opening up to the beginning of a whole new world of loving and higher dimensional relationships.
I will say it again: There is no such thing as ‘the one’. Unless you want to consider ‘the one’ as source consciousness which is in everyone. What there IS, however, is the person you first become fully merged with and in sustainable union… but they are not the end, because on the highest levels and dimensions of consciousness everyone is merged as one large soul, there is no distinction. On earth people are energetically separated, they go looking for other people to complete them to feel whole. Once you are spiritually ascended and whole in yourself it doesn’t become about trying to feel completed through separation, but rather becoming expanded through merging. You become a larger whole with a new soul, and through that experience attraction, desire, affection, ect. Because you are one and the same through source and there is no separation at all. That which knows itself cannot be separate from itself, yes? So two whole people come together and create a larger whole, and then there is no distinction between ‘self-love’ and ‘other-love’… they are one and the same. It is not sexual, but rather it is the act of the larger whole knowing itself. Something that cannot happen in 3D relationships.
To put it simply, once you are spiritually-realised and whole within yourself, you will not find that intimacy again you desire outside of soul-union, where two or more become one. But just because you did not have success with your previous union does not mean it’s the end. You can attract to yourself a vibrationally compatible soulmate and try again, next time with more success. There is no need to keep holding onto the past, onto the one who awoke you but whom you are now separated from. You see separation isn’t a physical circumstance but rather the two souls being unable to sustain the full merge and hence becoming just two souls again, instead of one larger one. Separation is where you get to learn more in depth about you again. And after that time, if the other person is not whole within their own soul then you are not going to be able to ‘reunite’ with them, aka you will not be able to fully merge with them. It makes sense right! But because you don’t know any different you still keep hanging onto that chance of reunion, waiting for them, thinking they are ‘the one’… but you never move on and allow something even better into your life, a full sustained and mutually aware soul merge. Union takes two to tango. That is why two become one. Two cannot become one if one of the two is not aware of what is even going on.
So it’s time to face it, after separation you are not merged with them anymore. You are not in union. You are facing who you really are, and holding onto a chance of being ‘re-merged’, if you like. But you are looking totally in the wrong place, as was I. Finding that desire or attraction or intimacy the same way again will not be possible unless you are in full union with a soul whom knows itself as you. And this is not limited to only one person, the sky is literally the limit…. there are SO many souls out there who are vibrationally compatible with you. A lot of them will be karmic but karmic can be positive too, if you attract a spiritually aware one who is fully available for merging. However usually you will have incarnated in entire soul-groups, and the thing about soulmates is that they are naturally vibrationally compatible with you and you have the advantage that you already know each other on a soul level intimately from past lives. So it’s easier to attract one of those once you are in the place to accept and allow it to manifest. But again it doesn’t mean they are the ‘one’, because on the higher dimensions your entire soul group is merged in this way, as one larger entity, and this is possible on earth too…. however it is extremely rare due to the density here making it hard enough for two souls to complete a full merge, let alone three or more.
But I see in the future this will become the norm, people will start merging into each other either partially or fully as their spiritual awareness increases and there will be no distinction between any of the types of love between anyone. So union then isn’t just a one time thing, but something that can happen with anyone when all parties are in tune spiritually….. to the extent that you merge with the entire planetary consciousness! But that is something far out in the future yet. For now it is suffice to say that your ‘twin-flame’ is not the end for you. Do not think it is the end…. it is not! It is only the beginning. And if you allow yourself to let go of the soul you are no longer able to complete a full merge with and allow the universe to bring across someone whom you are… your life will be greatly enriched. Remember that your reality responds to your thoughts. If you are hanging onto the past then you are not ready to accept the future and life cannot show you an even more beautiful relationship dynamic/s.!
I will say for myself, I am perfectly content and happy in mine and Dan’s union but there is something in me that really wants to experience us both merging with yet another soul on earth to have experiential understanding of this concept. And to imagine the amount of light that would be released on earth from three souls united as one! Maybe the universe will bring this our way one day because it seems like the curiosity is there, but for now we are definitely not ready for it…. who is! That being said, the entire Pleiadian collective keeps trying to integrate itself into me/us (we are both Pleiadian though with differing lineages I was told)…. so maybe we will be a walking/talking stellar consciousness anyway one day… just not with the souls from this solar system 😉