♫ It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday, I’ma spend my money… ♫ Will.I.Am’s song is pretty cheesy but can’t help singing as this month I’m turning twenty-two! I don’t think I’ve ever been excited before for a birthday, except maybe the year my step-dad left and I was free to enjoy myself for the first time without him. Except I wasn’t truly free as I was pretty much on the verge of starting my awakening and I had a panic attack that very night from all the pre-purging I was doing (triggered of course by too much alcohol) and a nasty sleep paralysis episode too. Last year was the year after that, and I didn’t have much more fun either as I was dealing with unconscious entity issues, as well as being in Mexico having to confront my dad and his more controlling attitude recently… It was more inner confrontational time than enjoyment time.
Not to mention I revisited a soulmate whom I had nothing in common with vibrationally since my self-realisation but still triggered that energy in me for healing anyway. It was a pretty confusing time. I wanted to experience that soul to soul intimacy and yet was prevented from doing so… I am not sure I have mentioned it on here before but I was craving especially the later half of last year a shared love that I didn’t even realise I was craving. I think I was aware on some level of merging into my other half this year which was to come(in fact about this time last year I told my karmic twin of all people that I could feel someone new coming along, a life partner as I felt it at the time but just completely gave up hope on that by Christmas), but just couldn’t see past the issues clouding me at the time. All I saw was where I was deficient and was focusing on *why am I not attracted to anyone, why can’t I experience intimacy with anyone*… I thought the loneliness was a character flaw which needed dealing with (which it did to be fair), and that I would never love romantically again. Self-realisation had shattered all those illusions for me.
And yet here I am, the month of my twenty second birthday, two full years minus one month after my full spiritual awakening and nineteen months after my self-realisation, fully merged and in union with the soul I was always meant to be with. Because I wasn’t *meant* to be with anyone else, and all my resistance and shame kept us apart much longer than needed be… and yet in the grand scheme of things it was all part of the greater plan and happened exactly as it was meant to. I could FEEL this coming all the way back since last April. My intuitive clairvoyant powers are mindblowing, and I am paying much more attention to them now as my strongest gift. I wrote about it continually to others beginning of last year “I can feel something big coming my way next June/July, I will have quit my university course and found what I’m truly meant to be doing”… well I did quit my university course at the beginning of this year… and what am I meant to be doing? It’s simple, living in love, I have finally realised that now. There is no other mission and purpose except for that. Me and my other half completed our full merge in June, stabilised in July, and August is the beginning of a whole new chapter.
I have to admit, it has not been easy making such huge progress at such a young age. I have gotten a lot of discrimination, and I mean A LOT. But yet I have seen it all as pointing out my inner insecurities where I feel a need to defend myself… and I have used it to work on myself and heal more fully those solar plexus issues of not feeling accepted and validated. And I have come a long way in accepting my age and my fast progress, yet part of the excitement of turning 22 does come from the fact I can sort of say “well I’m a year older now, so you can stop looking at me like I’m an overly intellectual snob because I have one year more experience to prove that wrong” LOLz. So that excitement is partially falsely generated, because what is the age of the body when the age of the soul is really what matters. At the end of the day I am the only one who needs to accept my age…. the hilarious thing being that in real life people often mistake me for being fifteen years old, apparently I look incredibly young. So age has been a bit of a mental complex for me.
But I think the most exciting thing is that I’m truly free in myself now, so I can enjoy it fully, and with the person I truly love, fully(we are meeting again on my birthday so I will update again then, maybe with some pics too!). And it feels like a marker for me. Just like at 20 I started awakening into the fifth dimension, this year at 21 I started awakening into sixth… what will 22 bring? For the first time it will bring just peace and love and joy, with no need to be anything other than who I am, because I fully am living in my potential now, day by day. It will also be a turning point for me financially and career-wise too. As for what I have no idea, but I know it’ll just be something I love and enjoy and is for my highest good. That will be shifting gears about October time. These are the things I feel and know are coming, and I have no illusions blocking out my perception of the future anymore. It is automatically an open book where anything could happen, anything positive and fun and exciting, and yet it is also a path I have already forged for myself right here right now, which I am following and moving along rather happily and contentedly.
I do not know what is to become of my entire life at this stage, when I think of the progress I have made at only twenty two years of age and when I think of all the years I have left ahead of me, suddenly nothing seems impossible. At fifty maybe I could even literally move mountains. 😀 There is just no knowing, But I know whatever is to come, it will be frickin awesome, and I know I will love every single minute of it!