Full Moon Flaring and Solar Plexus Gunk

My Public Journal
A new development that has come about lately is the full moon affecting my Kundalini. I start to feel extremely sick into the night.. it takes all my effort not to fall on the floor and break down.. it’s super painful, both physically and emotionally. It’s not like having a stomach bug. It’s like someone shoving something blunt into your gut and trying to gauge it out. Extremely unpleasant.

It took me a while to notice this, as at first it just seemed to be a random development- I thought maybe I’d eaten something or done something to make the energy flare, but I didn’t. The past two months this was happening to me every day for a week around about the full moon.. I connected the dots together when it happened this past month as I looked outside and stared at the moon at night.. then it hit me. I’d never believed that the moon could have an affect on people like the stories say but when I checked the date of when it had happened the previous month (which I had written about and so had a specific log) against the records of the moon phases I noticed they lined up. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

I tried shielding myself against the moon because I didn’t know what else to do.. I was desperate to try anything. I’m not sure if it worked or not.. I’m going to have to experiment with that some more. The other thing I think may have worked was doing my kriya yoga in the afternoon as the sun was setting instead of in the night as I usually do. It seemed that my Kundalini would only flare as the sun was setting and the moon was just coming out (or having more influence), and then would build up over the night causing me symptoms. But if I dissipated the energy just when it started building it would somehow prevent anymore from building up afterwards.

I don’t really understand how this works but I know this is what’s happening. I don’t really know what else to do apart from these possible preventative measures.. protecting yourself against the moon of all things isn’t something that you hear often about, lol. All I know is that probably something to do with the extra gravity pulling away from the earth is maybe pulling my energy out more than usual.

I haven’t done an update in a long time, but as is obvious the reason I feel sick and not any other symptoms is because my solar plexus chakra still needs a lot of work on. It’s been a long process and I feel it’ll be something I’ll have to work on for the rest of my life. If I didn’t then why would I be incarnated here on earth? I have my lessons to learn, and I feel it’s around the use of power, control, and confidence. These issues are the ones I’m always working on.

When I look back a year ago I see that I’ve come a long way from how my solar plexus used to be. It’s not so restricted anymore. It’s like it has room to breathe.. to express itself. At the moment though this clearing has been manifesting as self-criticism and harsher self-talk along with thoughts that loop around and around in my mind with nowhere to go. I tend to try and motivate myself with tough love to do the things I feel I *should* do, instead of lazing around all the time. I’ve been really tired sitting around waiting for the Universe to manifest things. I figured if I wanted something done I had to do it myself. 

So this obsessive need to control events and manifest my own change has arisen. It’s primitive at best, but it’s spectacular compared to where I used to be, completely stripped of my power with no confidence in myself to do what I wanted to do. And although progress is slow and my confidence in myself comes and go, step by step I’m creating my own world around me the way I desire it to be. And throughout all this I maintain myself as the all present observer, just watching myself be driven to chase after the things that I want.. whether seemingly beneficial or not.

I’m learning to express and manifest.. a co-creator with the Universe. That is why I have these stubborn solar plexus blockages. Because without them I wouldn’t be urged to actively partake in designing my own reality. Jung says the shadow is the drive of the creative process and that’s definitely true. Without my shadow and this icky black goo clogging up my energetic arteries I wouldn’t strive for the mission I know I’m supposed to make my reality. There’s a purpose for everything.

Just a note on the icky black goo.. my solar plexus blockages literally feel like that. Like uber gross slime and honestly it’s disgusting. When my Kundalini flares during the full moon I feel that the most. It makes me feel so vile, energetically. It makes me wonder what the hell I’m carrying around for it to feel like that.. and why can’t I feel it normally? This stuff is super deep. I have been thinking that they’re lower energetic cords and there’s a type of emotional leeching going on somewhere, maybe between me and other people/entities.. I can’t know for sure.. but it feels really, really wrong.

Not saying that I have negative attachments or parasites anything.. it doesn’t feel like that. But something needs fixing down there. And I guess as much as the full moon hurts.. if I work with the flaring I can use it to help clear my solar plexus out much faster than I could do without it.

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