I decided to copy and paste something here that I yet again wrote on the forums about twin flame love and how I am currently seeing it. I will edit some things so that it’ll make more sense but before I do that I just want to say that these past six months that we were not in contact.. now it’s like they never even existed. Literally.. it’s the weirdest thing ever. The only difference is that the love I have for him seems to have expanded.. which I will write about below. But to say I didn’t see this coming was an understatement. Yet again I’m reminded why I can’t altogether dismiss the twin flame concept, no matter how much I put no stock in labels anymore. So without further ado:
First off, I had my self-realization experience about half a year ago when I realized I was love.. after that I felt nothing for him and left, thinking that was the end. I had become whole in myself and that’s all I felt he existed for.. to propel me there. So for about four months I felt dead towards him. I also had a lot of unrecognised rage/fear whenever I thought about him, which actually I didn’t recognize until I started to talk about him on the forums.. Anyway, once I realized that I had actually ran away I had to confront myself and basically ask why. Turns out I had trust issues in myself. So I actually really wasn’t as whole in myself as I thought I was.
When I started realizing all this at the four month mark I could feel my twin withdraw his efforts into ‘chasing’ me. I did think initially that it was him giving up that got me to that point of being able to realize what I was running from in myself.. but I can also see now that my recognition of my own trust issues in myself caused him to withdraw into himself and face the things he needed to; it was a joint effort. So for these past two months a lot of things have been going on. He started to invade my mind and my dreams.. I started feeling heart energy for him again.. which made me confused because I knew it was all just an illusion that I was feeling.. but I really just didn’t get what was going on. I thought I was past all that.
After a month of this going on though I started coming to grips with the fact that I was going through another heart expansion and that things were changing again internally. I was being pulled towards him to make contact.. which I resisted for a long time due to the anxiety I had.. but I gave in eventually. The past two weeks have been a cycle of anxiety-numbness-infatuation.. in fact the past two months have been like that looking back, but it’s only these past two weeks the cycles have got shorter that I noticed the pattern. Anyway, needless to say, I was pretty confused. I realized these feelings were all false.. but I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t really get what was happening.
Throughout all this I had become more aware to a new space opening up in me, regarding him, as the cycles were clearing out my issues. I wondered what it was for a while but I couldn’t put my finger on it. But then it suddenly all made sense this week when I came to the realization that now I can trust myself.. and that most my fears regarding him have been cleared out.. leaving a sudden clarity which hasn’t left me since. I’m not really sure I can explain it.. but people always wonder what love towards a twin is like when there’s no losing yourself in their lower identities. Well, it’s like all that heart energy you initially had for them still exists.. but you own it. It’s yours. So now you’re free to be a channel of divine love towards them. This time you express it because you want to.. because you make the choice to. You express it just by being yourself. You express yourself to them as love itself. There is no mixing of energies anymore.. there’s only your own wholeness and then theirs.. it’s two whole people interacting..
Maybe I can explain this better by comparing it to soulmates. Everyone reading this probably knows what having a soulmate feels like. You merge yourself into them until you’re practically the same.. in fact there’s really no ‘merging’ that needs to be done because you’re so similar from the outset. So you get along great. But with a twin you can’t do that. With a twin it’s about learning to love yourself as you are.. and then through that learning to love them as they are.. It’s about loving the love that loves you.. loving the love that IS you. It’s about seeing and loving your opposite for who they are.. and becoming a greater whole through that which will then naturally extend outwards to everyone else around and change them for better. It’s about total acceptance and surrender to the love that you both are.
At this point I have to say that the twin flame dynamic really is about pure unconditional divine love.. but not in the way a lot of us currently all think. It’s not about feeling good.. it’s not about being caught up in waves of bliss together forever and ever and ever.. it’s about being still and centered.. and then sharing that together. Because ultimately we are all one and when we are in that place there is fundamentally no separation between him or me or anyone else.. and that is really the lesson. Learning to stand in yourself.. and when you can stand in yourself then you can stand with your twin. When you’re whole with your twin it’s like seeing and loving the universe being reflected back at you.. the universe you know you already are. You’re two universes interacting.. dancing.. loving.. but really you are one and the same. You are the love that you share.
So to wrap this up.. now it’s like, I know I don’t need him.. I don’t need his approval.. I only need myself and my own approval. I can stand on my own two feet.. but now I choose with him because it makes me stronger. I have no choice but to be my own authentic self around him.. and when I do that he has no choice either but to be his own authentic self around me. Soulmates support you.. but when you are whole in yourself with your twin.. you truly are at your best. You have no other choice but to be yourself. You have no choice but to express the god-spark within you as clearly and as brightly and as lovingly as humanly possible, to both yourself, them, and everyone else!