Why Monogamism is Bullshit

My Public Journal

Monogamy: The holy grail of humanity. Just why is that exactly? Why is it humans strive to find ‘Mr/Mrs Perfect’? If you take a look around in the real world, you will find that most relationships last about a year. And if you look at marriage statistics you will find that only three out of ten married couples stay together ’till death do us part’, and out of those three couples, only one is actually truly happy with the relationship.

If you look at it logically like this, and consider the fact that most creatures in the animal kingdom are actually not monogamous, then how does it make sense to try and search for that perfect love? Perfect love doesn’t exist. It’s just as much a human construct as God is: an unrealistic ideological expectation that has no merit. And for Christians who complain that marriage is between solely two people, then how do you justify the polygamy that is spread all over the bible like a disease? For gods sake, Solomon had something like 500 wives and 1,500 concubines! It makes no sense. And on that note, other things such as incest and homosexuality were allowed in the bible. Christians are so hypocritical.

True perfect love is not something unobtainable. Perfect love is something that exists in every little thing, the negative and the positive alike. Perfect unconditional love is exactly that – unconditional. And unconditional loves knows when to back down and start over again. And it also knows how not to be jealous when having more than one partner simultaneously. In fact I would think being polyamorous would allow someone to express even more love in many different ways, making all persons involved feel even more emotionally satisfied?

I think the only time humans are meant to be somewhat monogamous is when raising children and needing to stay as a couple together for the welfare of the children’s emotional and psychological development. But once they’ve left home – there’s no need to stay together if it’s not wanted. This is seen all the time within the animal kingdom. In fact it’s more natural.

The only reason I believe that monogamy is much favoured, and that polyamory is outlawed, is because I read somewhere once that monogamy is easier on property rights and such. It basically works pretty much perfectly within this capitalistic society we have created for ourselves. Polyamory is a threat to the state – and that’s why it’s outlawed and considered unacceptable.

However, I’m not saying that partial monogamy is completely out of the question. People often need at least one person to stay steadfast by their side for as long as possible, such as mothers and fathers, and once someone leaves home they start searching for someone to fill that gap. However that is emotional and psychological monogamy and NOT sexual monogamy, and is entirely different. The theory goes that a relationship like that could be monogamous, as in ’till death do us part’, and they would function pretty much as a normal couple, but slightly more platonic in order to emotionally support each other, whilst getting their other needs fulfilled elsewhere, therefore keeping the main relationship free of many struggles that often plague completely monogamist couples, such as not enough sex for one of the persons, or not being able to spend enough time together, etc.

Also, I don’t believe that cheating is actually cheating. It’s only perceived as a bad thing because of the way polyamory is shunned. If polyamory were more acceptable, people wouldn’t feel the need to be guilty for no reason. Humans are not monogamous! So why punish them for behaving in a way that is only natural? It’s despicable.

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