Update on life in a nutshell.

My Public Journal

I was just scanning through all my posts and realized that I haven’t actually done a life update in like ages. God, I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know if anyone reads this shit but it’s a good way for me to get my thoughts out either way. So basically:

I deleted all but one twitter account, I barely have any friends again due to it (nothing new there, I always seem to enjoy dropping people), I rebelled against my step-dad, who by the way is an evil fucking bastard, forget everything I’ve ever written about him before. My parents got divorced, I’m now pursuing a career in music and trying to get into music school, I’m an agnostic atheistic pantheist who’s a polyamorous pansexual demiromantic female-to-androgynous demiguy that believes in the flying spaghetti monster and lots of other weird shit. Oh yeah, and I’ve become majorly obsessed with Death Note. I mean MAJORLY. ISN’T L/LIGHT JUST THE MOST PAINFULLY HEARTBREAKING FUCKING BEAUTIFUL SHIP IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD AND CAN I KILL MYSELF YET.

jokes. This post is only half sort of serious. Although completely true.

And I suffer from serious depression. Which isn’t so serious anymore now that that bastard of a step-dad has left. It’s more like background noise. I feel healthier psychologically (despite the surface insanity) and have a zest for living life for the first time ever. I’m also half-evil and sacrifice babies to the non-existent devil in another dimension, but you didn’t hear it from me.

Also I think I have paranoia, which is no surprise really. I feel like the so called non-existent devil is stalking me and watching my every move. It’s creepy. Oh that and I dream about my evil step-dad almost every night now. Man I have some fucked up psychological issues. At least I don’t seem to have a split personality anymore.

Otherwise, in my spare time I’ve been practicing my singing for music college, since I obviously suck so bad at guitar, despite having played it for five years. Singing is easier anyway and doesn’t require having to drag tons of equipment around to every live venue – not that I’m cool enough to do that.. yet. MARK MY WORDS. I WILL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD AND ALL THE PUNY BEINGS THAT LIVE IN IT.

And I’ve been reviving my fanfic writing skills. I did finish my 50,000 word long Destiel fic, but I never could be bothered to edit it, so I gave to it my writer friend as a present to do whatever she wanted with it. She’s a huge Destiel fan. I’ve kinda gone off Supernatural though, it’s really not that good anymore. Being Human USA version is way better. So back to reviving my fanfic writing skills… I’ve written a bit of L/Light JUST BECAUSE IT’S THE DEFINITION OF PERFECTION. I practically have a religion devoted to Death Note in my mind. I worship it. Dream about it, blablabla.

Steins;Gate is really cool. I’m watching that now. Most anime is shit imo but some are good. Like Kuroshitsuji. GRELL. MY BBY. Sebastian is fucking hot. End of.

On the sidelines I’m also majorly into psychology, specifically the Myers-Briggs personality kind. I actually thought I was an INTP. and then realized being socially fucked up doesn’t mean you’re introverted. So I’m actually an ENTP. which is another fancy word for A) being awesome and B) being a fucking loon. But an intelligent loon. We usually get lumped with the mad scientists. and save the day even though we might not want to, we do it cuz we’re bored. And then have sex with the villain afterwards.

I like the Enneagram personality system too. I think I’m a 4w3, but I’m not too sure. It’s usually quite unusual for an ENTP to be a 4w3 too.. but it happens. Basically 4w3 means I have a need to be different and creative and need to express that and become famous through it. It’s basically another term for ‘attention starved tortured artist’. So you can see how it would be a little at odds with the whole ‘mad scientist’ thing, but hey, it works for me. (if you ignore how mentally unstable I am).

I’m basically fucking crazy. And I think too much. And I drink WAY too much goddamned alcohol to get rid of all the thoughts going around in this head that’s more like a prison cell. And sometimes I make stuff… like homemade dildos.

Anyway.. I have no idea what more to say. Report terminated.

P.s. I don’t drink coffee.

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